At Great Velocity

Unless you are indeed just kidding, I feel like punching you when you use this phrase.

I hear this all the time. Whenever you make a calculation or comprehension error, you automatically blurt out “Just kidding!” The consistency of this occurrence has led to the professor using it himself, in a semi-mocking fashion.

A simple “oops” would suffice as acknowledgment of your mistake. But no, you pretend that you were simply joking in order to save face between your instructor and classmates.

Sorry–that doesn’t work. So please own up to your mistakes.

Admit that you were wrong for once in your life, you silly twat.

(Modeled after  Alexander Pope’s Essay on Man)

Essay on Modern Man

Know then thyself and love thyself in whole
And know that only man can man control.
Through centuries of falsely noble deeds,
He chokes himself by cultivating weeds:
Though greater good–equality–he sows,
The seeds of hatred bloom in staggered rows;
He champions for liberty and right
By crushing opposition with his might;
He trusts the jackal to preserve his life,
To seize, in teeth, his offspring and his wife.

“Our children are the future,” he proclaims,
“They will uphold our good, untarnished names,”
But then neglects the sharp and adept minds
To act in favor of the average kinds.

And here he stands, at zenith of his prime,
Reveling in his paradox sublime.
This is the tale, the fate of modern men:
To rise, to fall, and mock themselves again.