My Week, in summary

Even though seniors are done with high school classes, I have been at school every day this week.

On Tuesday, I finished reading Lolita. It was disturbingly good. During the weekend I’d read most of it sitting in a park with quite a few nymphets running around, let me tell you. I kindly kept the cover hidden so parents wouldn’t be weirded out.

On Wednesday, I went to a graduation party and met this really cute guy. He was also rather nice and talkative. However, he is very promiscuous and has/had an STD. Not entirely sure what to think.

On Thursday, I watched a lot of TV.

On Friday, I stirred up some drama regarding what happened on Wednesday. Full details upon request.

I want to get started on my novel, but I can’t bear to pick up the pen. That writing scholarship will be the end of me : (

 

Meh.

1. The fact that the “Save” and “Publish” buttons are right next to each other resulted in last week’s post being saved as a draft instead of being published to my blog. And now it’s obsolete and uninformative.

2. Since next week I have three tests in a row (physics, chem, and diffeq), I’ve actually been studying this weekend. And it seems that the process of diffeq studying is by far more enjoyable/easy. Should that be weird?

3. I wrote a list of things I’ve learned in high school. It’s up on Facebook. I’ll post it here eventually.

4. I went on a date with an ex-best-friend’s ex-boyfriend in order to annoy her. We (me and ex-bf) agreed that it was simply a friendly date, since the only things we ever hear about each other are through ex-bff and mainly consist of lines similar to “He’s such an asshole. She’s a bitch, oh my god.” I had a good time. I liked her reaction when I told her about it.

5. Meme time.

What were you doing ten years ago?

Ten years ago my family moved here from Stillwater, Oklahoma. I was not happy to start over at a new, rundown school (Fairview) where the first thing that happened to me at recess was getting my hair pulled by a couple of idiotic boys.

What are five things on your to-do list for today?

1. Relearn Laplace transforms.
2. Relearn rotational kinematics and related stuff.
3. Learn about gas laws and equilibriums.
4. Write a paper on Alphonse Mucha.
5. Take a shower.

What are some snacks you enjoy?

Do I snack anymore? It’s an on-off thing with me, and I’ve been trying to cut down my sugar intake. I like potato chips, cereal, chocolate, the occasional cookies… but if it’s around 8 at night, I’ll probably go for a banana or an orange.

What would you do if you were a billionaire?

Pay for college tuition. The cost is ridiculous, and I’ve already been denied a bunch of scholarships.

And then I’d fund some useful science projects and hire quality hitmen to pepper off stupid politicians.

What are three of your bad habits?

1. Checking my email incessantly.
2. Sleeping in class.
3. Excessive swearing.

What are five places where you have lived?

1. Hamilton, Ontario
2. Princeton, New Jersey
3. Stillwater, Oklahoma
4. Columbia, Missouri
5. Very soon to be true–Ithaca, New York

What are five jobs you have had?

1. Math tutor –decent pay, kid was stupid and learned nothing.
2. Biology tutor –I got dinner out of the deal.
3. Lab rat –no pay, grad student couldn’t speak English, professor was a jerk.

Tag five people.

Tag yourself.

 

Silly classmates.

Today, we were all supposed to have finished reading Dorian Gray in Brit Lit. I’d finished it two weeks prior, so no worries. Well, Student Teacher decides we should do a review game in order to prepare for the essay tomorrow. Jeopardy! Woo.

“Split up into 3 teams,” she tells us. Since our class doesn’t contain transsexuals, hermaphrodites, or the like, we can’t group by gender as is the norm. We divide up by rows then.

With the absence of one person, the other two teams are equal in skill. I look at the kids seated in my row, and immediately think, “Oh God.” And not in a good way.

“Give me your team names,” Student Teacher says. The other teams quickly deliberate, and come up with rather fierce-sounding titles, such as Legions of Doom and Team Ramrod (which was subsequently changed to Sons of Baltimore. Don’t ask.)

“I don’t care,” I told my group. Being the similarly uncaring/unoriginal individuals that they were, they decided on Anonymous. And no, I don’t think any of them were /btards.

The game gets off to a rough start with SOB (yes, that’s why) taking 3 5-pointers in a row. Anon gets the 4-pointers, and LOD has none.

“So, what category should we go for?” I ask, as I have unanimously and silently been voted team captain. They respond with shrugs and giggles. “Okay, whatever.” I pick randomly.

“So, what do you guys think the answer is?” I ask, on a 3-pointer rebound. Again, I am met with half-hearted guesses and shrugs. I guess, and get the points.

This continues until the half-way point, where I finally just stop turning around to look at anyone. I pick the questions to answer, I answer them without consulting anyone, and I get them right. All the while thinking ‘Fuck y’all unassertive, uncommunicative, unwilling idiots.’

And I singlehandedly win us the game. We get candy. Jesus.

Edit: I remembered what I forgot to add in. Every time I answered a question, this kid from LOD would yell “Kobe!” (I only know it’s ‘Kobe,’ because he mentioned ‘Bryant’ once).

I looked it up on Urban Dictionary. Some definitions (such as ass-pounding females) are probably not the intended meaning. However:

1. kobe: Kobe Scores 20+ points per game for the lakers… BUT KOBE DONT PASS.

I like it.

And yes, Julia… they all got candy too. At least one guy had the decency to thank me.

 

Dear Physics Teacher…

I really don’t mean to fall asleep in your class all the time.

I actually enjoy physics quite a bit when I am conscious, but it just so happens that my combined class workload (this includes yours) is just enough to deprive me of some much-needed slumber.

Well, that’s only one reason. The other is that I’m not very motivated, so two hours (in which I could optimally finish all my homework) gets stretched out very far and gets peppered with distractions such as IM, Facebook, emails, and some necessary reading time.

I’d conclude with a little joke about light-speed, but being sick of looking at my physics textbook, I shall refrain from doing so.

 

What might have been a poem. Terrible mess.

Places like Cape Canaveral, I’ve never been,

Jumping in red rocket shoes and tipping canoes.

Waterfalls don’t spill from eyes like these,

From reading too much into the simplest of words.

 

Moral responsibilities?

1. The Academic One

Consider a lengthy, disgusting series of math problems. Consider that it is the first assignment ever given in this class. Consider spending 2-3 hours in the computer lab trying to beat Mathematica into submission.

And then consider a friend deciding not to work with you and trying to do it on his own, and finally asking you for all of your numbers so he can derive his own conclusions from them. What to do?

Give him a little bit of data, and tell him to do the rest of it himself. But what if he comes back the next day asking for more numbers? Ask him why he didn’t actually work with me and why he didn’t decide to just use Mathematica. And what if he claims that it didn’t work?

Well why the fuck didn’t he just call me to solve that problem?

2. The Competition One

Districts Quiz Bowl is tomorrow. Four or five of us have been to every competition so far. Our four main players hold down history, politics, math, pop culture, and the sciences.

We have not done as well as we could because the fifth member is bringing us down. In the spirit of fair play, where we have to let him in on two rounds of each game, we lose valuable points. I, being of the math/science persuasion, or T, our other science person, have to switch out whenever Fifth Person goes in. And as it happens, Fifth Person sits there doing nothing, while I or T are sitting out in agony at not having been able to answer the science questions.

It seems we are taking 8 players to Districts tomorrow, and we’re only allowed one team, 4 players at a time… we are so going to lose.

T and I have discussed this numerous times, but there’s really no way to tell our sponsor or even Fifth Person himself that he sucks. How callous of me.

Update: Haha. We won. Never mind.

3. The Romantic One

I agreed to go on a date with a new friend. So far, mutual friends have made these comments.

“I don’t think he’s really mature enough for you.”

“He’s TOTALLY into you. He likes you a lot.”

There’s way too much to fit into one blog post, but I’d feel really bad if he were really to like me as much as I hear he does. Because I definitely don’t return that, and it’s starting to eat at my conscience.

Hopefully this changes when I actually see him again. We’ll see.

 

You don’t know jack shit.

Fairly often, it comes to my attention that I really don’t know what I’m talking about.

I can chat briefly on the ‘08 presidential race, string theory, or the state of the economy…. but mostly this is me listening politely to the other person and making random comments picked up from blogs and news articles.

I think I only ever know what I’m talking about when it comes to bacteria, artwork, and emotions. And even I don’t want to talk about those subjects all the fucking time.

So when it comes to impressing others, I rack up quite the dilemma.

Usually you don’t think of me as ignorant, eh?

 

My life is one irony after another.

Last night I watched Sense and Sensibility. (The one with Emma Thompson and Hugh Grant.) I loved it for a multitude of reasons…Grant’s appearance notwithstanding.
Today my life turned into that movie. Marianne’s hysterics, Willoughby’s infidelity, the bystander colonel… oh yes. and I, Elinor–who just happens to have begun an acquaintance with a Grant lookalike (by a few decades).

Now if you take out Lucy Steele and put Marianne in her place, you have a pretty good idea of what’s going on.

Perhaps I should write a novel. Call it Ugh, Why Me: the tale of rational hubris gone awry.

Because I thought I was completely and forever and ever immune to ever going through that whole relationship nonsense again. Ye gods.

 

On the use of black when painting.

Once you get into high school art classes, teachers begin a trend of telling students not to use black paint, because “it makes the painting look flat.”

My 9th grade art teacher–bless him, the stupid thing–could always be heard saying, “No, don’t use black. Use violet for your shadows.” Violet, violet, violet.

I used to believe this, although the difference is that I used blue for my shadows… until yesterday, when I decided to open up the tube of black acrylic paint that I had rarely used.

As it turns out, black is a fine color to paint with, provided you use it correctly. There are only two guidelines: Don’t use it heavily and do mix it.

As you can see, I have mixed it with white to form a range of grays, and mixing it with bright colors (red and yellow) to create rich browns. Sure, after you mix it, it’s no longer true black, but you can then use true black because the intermediate colors provide a nice transition.
So screw the teachers who are stuck in the Impressionists mindset. Don’t blindly follow them. Strike out of convention, kids.

 

“Just Kidding.”

Unless you are indeed just kidding, I feel like punching you when you use this phrase.

I hear this all the time. Whenever you make a calculation or comprehension error, you automatically blurt out “Just kidding!” The consistency of this occurrence has led to the professor using it himself, in a semi-mocking fashion.

A simple “oops” would suffice as acknowledgment of your mistake. But no, you pretend that you were simply joking in order to save face between your instructor and classmates.

Sorry–that doesn’t work. So please own up to your mistakes.

Admit that you were wrong for once in your life, you silly twat.